A Christmas poem from Wow! Stuff

Published on: 21st December 2012

Wow! Stuff’s CEO, Richard North, has written a Christmas poem for the whole toy trade to enjoy.

It’s Christmas, and that means it’s time for some fun, so Richard North has written a Christmas poem for the toy trade. The Toy World team is convinced that if the toy trade were ever to consider appointing a poet laureate that Richard’s name would be in the running.


‘Twas the week before Christmas, and through every toy store,
The roof lights were dripping with tacky decor.
iPods played carols sitting in mangers of fake hay,
And realistic snow was placed on the Dream Toys display.

I’d flown many miles from the ‘North’ Pole this day,
Thought I’d check on in-store theatre, they made it pay.
I’d come to this particular store for but one special reason,
To see for myself if they’d had one hell of a Season.

I hid in a corner and in a short while,
I saw the store manager march down the aisle.
He shouted an order to “Turn Mickey on”,
And also Kitty in ‘cool’ pink blinking neon.

Up high from their 4th floor Christmas-style alter,
A shiny flying object was the 50th variant of R/C helicopter.
And towering over the 5th floor Mezzanine,
A 12-foot Wills and Kate looked down on Wow! Stuff’s demo team.

The clock on the wall said two minutes to nine,
This was significant, this was the time.
We’d worked through the night to set up our ‘Combat’ arena,
If it messed up now we’d be a has-beener.

When out on the street there arose such a roar,
It rang to the rafters and boomed through the store.
It sounded exactly like street-repair drilling,
Or maybe Vivid and Moshi making a killing.

The clock it struck nine, and the door opened wide,
And a great parent and kid avalanche thundered inside.
More fearsome than Gary Grants demeanour,
Came kiddies with just one goal – “Combat Arena!!”

In front stood the greeters who didn’t stand a chance,
As a thousand excited kids moved to full advance.
Our demo team thrust handsets into little boys’ hands,
And Attacknids battled, surrounded by hundreds of fans.

Egged on by their parents, the kids had one aim,
To blast at the manager, Keane was his name.
They mobbed him and mauled him, the better to plead,
For copters ‘n robots they’d sought in their hour of greed.

The manager watched with a gleam in his eye,
As he thought of the toys that the parents would buy.
Of all Christmas come-ons, this crowd would attest,
That a visit to “Hxxxxxx” was one of the best.

It was all too much for my soul to condone,
As I had lots of retailers who also wanted Arena’s on loan.
I left that toy store with a hint of dismay,
Thinking how could I get the other retailers to play.

So to the New Year and the Toy Fair nearly on us,
Please check out Combat Creatures and all of the fuss.
From Arxxs to Texxo and Toymxxxxr indies,
Attacknids on TV in 2013 will be really big biz.

So please take pity on us, please shed a tear,
Our Mystery UFO is top 50 in NPD every year.
But! It’s not listed in many of your shops,
So how much biz are you missing, or are we being greedy chops?
We invite you all to visit our stand,
And get 50% discount and other stuff, unplanned.

Now that took bl**dy ages to write so don’t let us down,
Get to the toy fair and stop messing around,
And Happy Xmas too. That’s not meant to rhyme…
But sod it, I’m adding mistletoe and wine.

Wow! Stuff


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